I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
