I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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