what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i will never coherently bang her
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
