last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
