@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
