dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
