I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
