my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
