She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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