I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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