Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
