he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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