Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
