gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize