He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
