Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
50% drunk capacity currently
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
