I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
