There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
