In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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