were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
