sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
