he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Randomize
