your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
