We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize