eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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