2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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