The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
