I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
