Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
