Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
NoShamevember. You game?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
