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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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