She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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