you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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