I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
