So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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