It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
