White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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