normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
