Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
