No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
