So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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