he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Tell her she can't have a vagina
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
