This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
