Your dad touched me again.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
