D3 body, D1 cock
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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