Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
