so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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