The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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