You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
