Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
