My liver just broke up with me...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
