I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
