I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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