oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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