After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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