Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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