We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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