Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
