Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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