I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
