she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
ugly people sure do ruin things
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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