I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
