I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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