I wish i was in the wii world.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
