Grow some girl-balls and come out already
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
