somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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