the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My balls are so social today.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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