im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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