Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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