i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Small penises have feelings too.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You took a bar mat shot.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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