u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
