the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
