i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
