She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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