I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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