How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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