It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize