Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
