Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
